Writing the game
Most of this month was spent writing the actual story and dialogue. I think that 2-4 hours is a good length to aim for - though it seems like the people on vndb are much faster readers than me. I think certain kinds of music/ sfx and visuals makes the reader slow down. I kind of want it to be more of a slow read, rather than flowing through thousands of lines with rapid tapping. But it might be hard to tell before everything is there.
I don’t have much more to say about this though, because I don’t want to spoil my little story. I do think that I have finally found the thing that is at the bottom of this story.
This month I really put on my swirly glasses with the coding, but I found out that I like a more linear story than I thought I would - it’s still nice to learn though and there’s a bunch of the UI that made my glasses feel pretty swirled - it’s fun to learn - I miss the time when I was a little kid and I thought computers were basically magic. My parents told me a bit about the different parts of the computer - but for some reason I thought that there was still something fishy going on. Like there was something divine coursing through this silicon and minerals. Armed with this feeling, .. I tipped my child-fedora on the playground dismissively and went on with my miserable life.
What does a fly eat?
I’ve been doing research this month - Mostly nonfiction - But I read a bit of fiction too - andI thought about this poem:
The Fly
By William Blake
Little fly,
Thy summer’s play
My thoughtless hand
Has brushed away.
Am not I
A fly like thee?
Or art not thou
A man like me?
For I dance
And drink and sing,
Till some blind hand
Shall brush my wing.
If thought is life
And strength and breath,
And the want
Of thought is death,
Then am I
A happy fly,
If I live,
Or if I die.
I don’t know a lot about William Blake, and I haven’t read any analysis of it. But I read it as proto-posthumanist thought (me and the fly are surprisingly similar etc.). Posthumanism is a strain of philosophy aiming at thinking past the human as the nexus of epistemeology, ethics, politics and so on. But, it made me think about the fact that I haven’t really seen a lot of posthumanist theory that addresses hypothetical scenarios where humans (or beings that came from humans) aren’t the most powerful things around. I think that it is much more interesting to think about our relationships with our environment and nonhuman actors, when we are the fish in the bowl to them, or the neutered dog, or the big rock in the back yard. What does the rock in the back yard have to say for itself? What does the neutered dog have to say? This kind of dyscalculial being who will never truly understand what is happening to it. Is the best that they can hope for a relationship with something more powerful that is moral enough to think of itself as a steward of the things that are unlike it? How would the lake actually feel about being granted the status of personhood. A lot of posthumanism seems to have this benevolent steward attitude, and while I prefer that to treating non-humans like automata or resources, there is still something about it that rubs me the wrong way. Other posthumanism is about dissolving the boundaries between us and our environment as much as possible, and while I like that train of thought a lot, it is not very practical. You are the lake and the dog and the rock! Okay, they reply, but this conversation was about euthanasia. You are flowing together with the chair and your desk! Nature is flowing through your digestive system! Okay, they reply, but we were talking about representative democracy.
I think that this gap between humans and non-humans is really interesting though. Especially when you approach it from a posthuman perspective, and not like Mr. Descarte throwing a cat out of the window because he thought it was automata devoid of a soul. Trying to figure out how to ethically relate to these beings and things who will never really understand your language or why you like the computer so much. That gorge of difference. What if I was the being placed in front of the mirror, unable to understand that what we are seeing is ourselves? What if we were the octopus being trained to solve puzzles?
Spring break - This month has been tight on time
My girlfriend came to visit me for a few weeks and I didn’t get enough work done (it was wonderful being with her though). Maybe we can call that a spring break. I miss my girlfriend, but I also missed getting back to work and eating bland food.
The people that I have to talk to in relation to being registered sick are all very nice and understanding - though, I wish that I didn’t have to see them. It eats a lot of what I have to give. When they ask me what I do all day I tell them that I make this VN and they all seem pretty happy for me. All of these people also seem happy to let me be as alone as possible most of the time. Maybe it’s because they know that it’s not me disliking them, but me looking for a peaceful corner to work in. I love the place where three planes intersect.
I also visited my sister, and while I love my sister, I was plain sick with spring break when I got home. I liked her apartment, I liked Malmö, I liked the food, I like her, but I’m sick with spring break. The pink Yalla! strawberry milkshake wants to leave my body, so I can get back to eating oatmeal, and broccoli+spaghetti for dinner so I can sleep. I miss working.
And so, I got back to work. I am basically finished with writing the game now.
I also made this comic for a group that I am a part of:
We Make little one or two page comics every month - and the one I made for this month is part of the story for this game:
![](https://substackcdn.com/image/fetch/w_1456,c_limit,f_auto,q_auto:good,fl_progressive:steep/https%3A%2F%2Fsubstack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com%2Fpublic%2Fimages%2F710e0376-3e0b-4b1b-ba72-88070402668e_8000x5656.png)
This one is from the month before:
Lastly, I would like to say thank you to those who are encouraging me to do this, it really helps.
Next month will be spent making assets and music. The last two months should basically be spent making those and making sure that the whole thing fits together. I don’t know how long that will take - I feel like this is the part that is the easiest to underestimate. It shouldn’t take longer than 4 months though, but it might take more than 2. But, I’ll do my best and I do want it to be finished!
Maybe I can put some screenshots in the next dev log!! And some music!!! Or maybe a short video !!!! What would you like to see anonymous?
ଘ(੭ˊᵕˋ)੭* ੈ✩‧₊ =͟͟͞͞ Next month’s dev log is on the 10th of July, so check back in on me then!
Hello anonymous,
Thank you for reading my post
This month my allergies have been wiping the floor with me
Though it has been raining lately, and I love the rain
Please take care and stay hydrated